He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
