put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i will never coherently bang her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
