I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
too bad you live with your parents still
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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