but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
