Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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