I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize