Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
tell me about the fingering
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