In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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