woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
