She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
