You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize