I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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