I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
