my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
