I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
