your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They have beer where we have blood.
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