that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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