i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
