You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
