my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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