craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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