he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
