Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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