nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
