Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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