The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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