omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
