I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm really busy with my period
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