id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You made out with two different species that night
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
