dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
