Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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