Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize