If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
