i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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