I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
