wat bout pragnant strippers??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
