A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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