is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
