Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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