so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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