I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
