Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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