p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize