as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize