did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
