I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
