This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
