I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
