I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize