Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
