im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
