so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
