she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
the liver wants what the liver wants
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
