pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
