I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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