Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
