A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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