I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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