4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
