i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
